Just a Wallflower typing…

Hello and welcome to what essentially is an insight into my everyday life, opinions, and whatever else I feel like typing about. This blog ultimately is just an escape or release (however you may choose to describe it) from all of those around me and gives me the opportunity to have a rant or discuss an opinion without boring the ears off of my family and friends. The likelihood of people reading this blog? highly unlikely. The likelihood of me actually committing to this blog? also highly unlikely. However, I almost feel that by no one actually seeing this it provides me with my own space to basically ramble about a load of shit. Perfect.
Now I feel some background is needed on me to try to string together some idea of the kind of person I am, both lookswise and personality-wise. Ok so do we remember that kid in primary school who just didn’t really speak? That’s me. Probably my largest and most prominent characteristic is I’m shy. Introverted, mute, socially awkward- all words used to describe me. Am I bothered? mm no not really I like being in my own head, just spectating as people around me essentially do the action. Despite my wallflower persona, I am actually quite an opinionated, confident individual when surrounded by the correct audience. I think I just take some time to adjust around people, make sure they get me and I get them before I’m all up in their face, forcing my opinions down their throats. That’ll take maybe a year or so.
Being 17 years old I therefore also am part of gen Z, arguably one of the most activist, opinionated generations the world has seen- perhaps slightly too so in some respects? My generation is all about reform, acceptance, and equality, all of which I am in full support of. We seem to have taken on the role of “We are the NEW generation, the more open-minded generation, the better generation.” now who am I to say which generation is superior? I’m not and I can’t, but as overbearing and uneducated yet loud-mouthed as Gen Z seems I am a proud and doting member.
So yes I am a teen, meaning I am going through that painfully awkward phase in my life where I’m trying to slowly find myself, kinda trying to break away from the herd and stop being a sheep whilst also trying to fit in enough to not be socially shunned. It’s a confusing time to be growing up, tackling pressures my parents never really faced, offered opportunities which weren’t available 20-30 years ago, it’s like I’m slowly entering this whole new world of dreams and possibilities but yet I’m still kinda petrified and just want to stay at home with my mum watching X factor every Saturday night. I feel like growing up is hard for everyone no matter what walk of life you come from, we all have our hurdles (respectfully some a lot bigger than others but hurdles just the same), we’re trying to perfect our image (which we’ll undoubtedly look back in a few years time and cringe massively) and basically just navigate our paths through this weird roller coaster, trying to have fun and smile but not really know how or have much reason to. A truly great time in my life. Talking of the future I’m just beginning my final year of school – How exciting, and I guess this is why I’m starting this blog, not only to document my life to a degree but because it will “Better my writing” and therefore be able to put it on my Uni application. Speaking of University I am hoping to attend next year but honestly the stress and pressure of knowing which courses to take and statements to write it’s as if my whole life depends upon 4000 characters and three A’s. I mean no wonder so many kids suffer from mental illness with the level of pressure piled on them to achieve from parents, teachers, peers and society as a whole. It’s like we’ve adopted this new attitude of ‘You need to make something of your life, you’ve got to do something amazing’ and honestly I’m not sure I’m here for it.
Now for some geography. I’m from Scotland, specifically Aberdeen. Basically imagine a less pretty, touristy, landmarky version of Edinburgh and that’s Aberdeen. Not to slag it off or anything but it’s not the most exciting of places, it’s nice. (I feel like nice is such a backhanded compliment, it’s almost like what you’d say to describe someone when you can’t really think of something better to say) But yeh Aberdeen has very nice scenery, the people are alright, there’s a good humor and a lovely place to grow up (or from my point of view anyway) but am I going to stay here forever? probably not. But who knows really, I’m no genie and where I end up in the future I really have no idea. I feel like I’ve gone on about myself enough now, I’m sure a lot more personal info will be shared in time but basically from this blog I’m really just wanting to write. My IT skills are shocking so a lack of computery website flare is to be expected (sorry.) Whether people read it or not I’m not bothered, It’s more of a ‘me’ thing than a ‘gaining popularity’ thing. But if you do fancy reading what I have to say it’s greatly appreciated. Anyway from one introverted teen, this concludes the end of blog post #1. xx

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